i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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