wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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