He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
