I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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