Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
