Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
