I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
