Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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