we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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