Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
