this boner is exhausting
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
