just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize