Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
