Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
