ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
