my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
