I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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