Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
