You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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