I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
