Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
