Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
