New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
