I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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