Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
