the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Randomize
