You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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