Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
