when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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