fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are we still banned from the library?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
