I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
