you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
