The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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