I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
