i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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