D3 body, D1 cock
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
