they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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