You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I enjoy the company of your penis
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
