you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
