Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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