I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
