It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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