the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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