I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
