So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
