But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
