i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
