Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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