We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
