discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
